The Undaunted Baker

Little Tiny Pies

2011-03-19T06:57:00.000-07:00

Two things I wanted to do once I was back on my feed: use the jar of Low Country Produce Colonial Chutney that Fishy sent me last month as winner of the Haiku Monday she was hosting; and give the Breville Personal Pie Maker I bought from Williams and Sonoma last Christmas another go. The instructions caution to use pre-made, store-bought puff pastry only, but fork that. I never follow instructions. So the first time I attempted a meat pie for S.B.'s supper, I used my own pie crust, which didn't quite have the texture I was looking for. Also, I didn't make my filling juicy enough. Dry pies are not only no fun to eat, they also make S.B. grumpy.

In the interim, however, I was inspired by a Karmic Kitchen post to try my hand at a savory galette. I used Julia Child's recipe for the crust and my mother's recipe for the filling, basically a variation of the classic Alsatian onion tart filling.

I have to tell you, this is a GREAT crust, similar in texture to what I consider a perfect pot pie or craw fish pie crust: buttery and near puff-pastry flaky.

So, I figured, maybe this would be the perfect crust for the fussy little tiny pie machine? Last night, I gave it a go.

What:
One recipe Julia Child galette dough
Two large chicken breasts, pre-cooked, cooled to room temp, and cut into quarter inch chunks
One 16-ounce jar Low Country Produce Colonial Chutney, room tempertaure
Salt and pepper to taste (the chutney is pretty well-spiced, but some folks want extra)
Four ounces goat cheese

How:

Heat the little tiny pie maker.

Place cut up chicken, entire jar of chutney, and salt and pepper in a bowl and mix thoroughly.

On a clean, lightly floured surface, roll out the pre-chilled dough to about 3/16". Use the small side of the cutting thingee that comes with the little tiny pie maker to cut out four pie bottom rounds:

The reason why my dough looks so "rustic" is that I battled an invasion of pantry moths last November and have not yet replaced my stock of corn meal; instead, I just Cuisinart-ed a bunch of plain Doritos chips. Works great.

Set aside and re-roll dough to same thickness. Use the larger end of the cutting thingee to cut out four pie top rounds. All dough is now gone.

Place bottom rounds into the pie maker, and use the press thingee to push the dough firmly into place so that it comes up over the edge (you can see by the photo that I forgot to do this, but not to worry, the pies sealed anyway). Fill to the brim with the chicken, top each pie with 1 ounce of the goat cheese, and place the pie top rounds over the filling. Close lid and wait the 5-10 minutes it takes to seal and cook the pies.

When done, carefully scoop pies out with a thin, flexible plastic spatula, place on plate, and eat.

Verdict:
The filling was delicious. The crust, while tasty, didn't have the same texture as it did when I cooked it as a galette in the oven, leading me to conclude that there is something about this particular gizmo that isn't all that kind to crust. Plus, it undercooked the lower right hand pie, which didn't happen the first time I used it. Hmm.

I'm not quite ready to eBay this puppy yet, so I think I'll make S.B. some little tiny peach pies and see what this does to a sugar dough.

Bittersweet

2010-11-13T05:06:00.000-08:00

Just because there are Brooklyn Bridge-sized gaps between my baking posts, doesn't mean I haven't been spending time in the kitchen. It just means I've been baking my standard issue sweet stuff, some of which I've already posted about here.

Now that the holiday season is gearing up, so am I. Baking and winter go together like central and heating, and when the days start getting progressively chillier, nothing warms me up physically or psychologically like working in a toasty kitchen making something sweet to eat. And then forcing those sweets onto unsuspecting friends and family. After all, if I'm going to add five pounds onto my rear end because of it, everyone else must suffer, too.

Baking is also wonderful therapy. When I'm up to my neck in work, frustrating deadlines, and any other number of life's little hassles, I shake things loose in my brain by doing something that requires both physical and mental exercise. Kind of like running, only I get to lick the bowl when I'm done.

This is what I made yesterday. Actually, it started the night before, when on a lark I decided to make a batch of caramel sauce, using the recipe in my tried and true copy of Williams and Sonoma's Pies and Tarts.

What:

1 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons water
1 cup heavy cream
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice

How:

In a heavy duty saucepan over medium high heat, stir together the sugar, water, and lemon juice. Stir just until mixed and then leave it alone, or your sugar will crystallize. Allow to cook until the sugar melts and just begins to turn a golden color. Turn heat to medium low and cook, shaking or tiling pan on occasion but not stirring, until a golden brown color. Remove from heat and add in the cream, pouring through a sieve to prevent splashing. Stir until cream is incorporated.

It will look like this. And it tastes fabulous. Better than anything you can buy in a store.

I have made caramel!

Now, what to do with it, other than eating it by the spoonful in front of the television? Why, make a tart, of course.

Normally, I'd use it to make a cranberry/almond tart, but since I didn't have any cranberries and I didn't have any slivered almonds, I decided to use apples and . . . what? Raisins? Nah. Pecans? Double nah. Then I remembered an apple and Gorgonzola pie I used to order at one of my favorite restaurants in Albuquerque, the now sadly defunct Chef du Jour. Man, it was delicious and I've never tried to replicate it. But blue cheese in some form or another is something I always have in my refrigerator, so there you go.

What:

For the dough:
1-1/4 cups all-purpose flour
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
7 tablespoons unsalted butter, cold, and cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1 large egg yolk
3 tablespoons ice cold water
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

For the apple filling:
2 large or 3 medium cooking apples of your choice
Caramel
2 ounces blue veined cheese of your choice, crumbled
4 ounces sharp cheddar, grated

Blend together flour, sugar, salt, and butter in a larger bowl, either with your fingertips or a pastry blender until mixture resembles coarse meal. You can also do this in a food processor. Mixture should look like this:

Beat together the egg yolk, water, and vanilla then pour into middle of flour mixture and use fork to stir until a rough dough forms. Again, you can also do this in a food processor.

Then, pour mixture out onto a clean, lightly floured surface, and knead very briefly until a dough forms:

Do not overmix or your tart dough will be tough.

If making tart right away, roll dough out on a thoroughly floured work space to a little less than 1/4" thick. Place inside a 10" non-stick tart pan with removable bottom and freeze for 30 minutes.

At the 15 minute mark, place rack in the middle of your oven and pre-heat to 375 degrees F. Line tart pan with heavy duty tin foil and fill with pie weights or beans to weigh down. Place in oven and bake for 20 minutes.

In the meantime, core and peel apples. Cut in half, then cut the halves from the top or bottom end into wedges 1/8" thick.

Once tart is pre-baked, remove from oven and start layering apple slices in an overlapped, circular pattern.

Pour the caramel on top, making sure to coat the apples evenly.

Bake tart in oven for 25-30 minutes. Remove from oven and top with the cheeses. Place back in oven for another five minutes to melt.

Remove, cool, and place in refrigerator. Tart should be served cold.

If any of you is the person who consistently outbids Moi on eBay for these plates, stop it!

Dim Sum Sunday: Bread

2010-09-26T13:13:00.000-07:00

I used to bake bread nearly every week, mostly French bread, using a recipe from an old-as-the-hills yellowed, dog-eared paperback copy of The James Beard Cookbook. Growing up, my mother made all our bread from scratch and I soon fell into the habit of making everything except our sandwich loaves from scratch. In addition to French bread and a variety of sweet and savory loaves, I've attempted with varying success tortillas, pretzels, cinnamon rolls, naan, puri, and bagels.

I even bravely ventured to follow Bread Meister Nancy Silverton's instructions for making a sourdough starter from scratch scratch, which involved red grapes, water, white bread flour, and no end of hair pulling on my part during the a 14-day process. What did I get for my efforts? Something that looked like it was produced in the lab of some cheesy Hollywood Sci-Fi film and that proved utterly useless for bread-making, but which, when combined with some sugar, butter, and flour, made the best tasting pancakes this side of the sun.

One of my all time favorite breads, though, made utilizing a much saner method, is challah. With its brioche-like texture, challah is one of those breads you can eat on Saturday evening slathered with butter and dipped in soup and then slice up on Sunday morning for French bread.

The recipe I use is straight out of Julia Child’s Baking With Julia, and it’s pretty much foolproof. I make most of it in the bowl of my little red KitchenAide Ultra Power mixer, and then finish it up by kneading it by hand. Julia hits the nail on the head when she calls the result, “just a little sweet, just a little soft, and just this side of heavenly.”

What:

2 T unsalted butter, melted
1-1/2 T active dry yeast (or two packets)
1/2 cup tepid water (80ºF to 90ºF)
1/3 cup sugar
1 stick unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup whole milk
1 T mild honey
2-1/2 t salt
4 large eggs
6 -1/2 cups (approximately) flour

How:

Brush a large mixing bowl with some of the melted butter; set aside. Reserve the remaining butter for later use.

Whisk the yeast into the water. Add a pinch of the sugar and let rest until the yeast has dissolved and is creamy, about 5 minutes.

Cut butter into small pieces and heat with milk in a saucepan until hot to the touch and the butter has just melted. Pour into a large mixing bowl (or the bowl of a large, electric stand mixer), and add the remaining sugar, the honey, and the salt, stirring with a wooden spoon to dissolve the sugar and salt. Let the mixture cool to to 110ºF or lower.

Add the yeast mixture to the milk mixture, along with the eggs, and stir to mix. Stirring vigorously, or with the mixer on low, add the flour, 1/2 cup at a time, stopping when you have a dough that cleans the sides of the bowl and is difficult to stir.

At this point, you can continue to let the stand mixture knead your dough, but I’ve never been satisfied with the results, so I remove and knead by hand.

Form the dough into a ball and transfer it to the buttered mixing bowl. Brush the top with a little of the melted butter, cover the bowl with plastic wrap and then a kitchen towel. Let the dough rises at room temperature for one to 1 1/2 hours, or until double in size. When the dough is fully risen, deflate it, cover as before, and let it rise until it doubles in bulk again, 45 minutes to one hour.

Deflate the dough and turn it out onto a lightly floured work surface. Cut the dough in half and keep one piece of dough covered while you work with the other.

Divide the dough into three equal pieces. Roll each piece into a rope about 16 inches long; it should be thick in the center and tapered at the ends. Align the ropes vertically, side by side, and pinch the ends to seal and tuck under the loaf. Braid the pieces and then pinch the other ends together and tuck under the loaf. Braid the second loaf. Cover both loaves with a towel and let rise at room temperature for 40 minutes, or until soft, puffy, and almost doubled.

Pre-heat oven to 375ºF.

Beat together one large egg, one large egg yolk, and one T heavy cream. Brush tops and sides of loaves with the glaze, let stand five minutes, and brush again. Reserve left overs. Sprinkle glazed loaves with poppy seeds, caraway seeds, or coarse salt.

Transfer bread to a baking sheet, bake for 20 minutes in the middle of the oven, then brush newly exposed dough with the rest of the glaze. Bake another 15 to 20 minutes longer, or until the loaves are golden in color and sound hollow when thumped on the bottom.

Let cool, slice, and eat!

Head on over to Dim Sum Sunday's host, Big Shamu at Karmic Kitchen, to see what everyone else baked up!

Dim Sum Sunday: Baking

2010-05-09T06:01:00.000-07:00

The thing about having a sweet tooth the size of a Mac Truck is that, in spite of all my running/hiking/swimming/biking/worrying, the pounds can really sneak up on my ass because of it. So I haven't been doing much baking lately. I think I'm still hungover from all that holiday partying, so I've mostly been sating my sweet tooth with fruit and tiny bits (ah hem) of hard candy. But when Shamu announced a Dim Sunday Sunday with a baking theme, how could I resist?

This recipe is inspired by something La Diva Cucina made during my recent visit to her swanky Miami abode. After plying Moi with wine, tostones, grilled skirt steak with chimichurri sauce, potato salad and the best cole slaw I've ever had, I still managed to have room left over for a fig compote with walnuts, balsamic vinegar, and mascarpone cheese. Which promptly made me think of how wonderful the combo would be as a tart. Which I fully intended to make for this challenge, but when I found out a dinner guest to whom I would serve the tart didn't like figs (!?!?!), I used strawberries instead. But I still intend to use the figs at some point . . .

Anyway, here's what I did, using what in my mind is the most fail safe tart dough known to man, courtesy the sadly now defunct Gourmet magazine. I apologize in advance for the crap photos. I STILL can't figure out my camera. Sheesh. Math.

STRAWBERRY & MASCARPONE TARTLETS

What:

For the dough:
1-1/4 cups all-purpose flour
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
7 tablespoons unsalted butter, cold, and cut into 1/2-inch pieces
1 large egg yolk
3 tablespoons ice cold water
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

For the strawberries:
Core and cut into half a pound of fresh, ripe strawberries, and place in large bowl. Sprinkle with 1/4 cup of granulated sugar stir, and let sit about 30-45 minutes, stirring occasionally. Place strawberries in a sieve over a small saucepan, and let the juices slowly strain into the pan, about 30-60 minutes. Reserve berries. Add to the juice in the pan 1/4 cup of balsamic vinegar (you can also use any alcohol of choice, like sherry, port, Kirsch, etc.), along with a tablespoon of sugar. Stir and bring mixture to a rapid boil until sugar has fully dissolved, about 2-3 minutes. Let sit for about 30 minutes to cool and thicken.

For mascarpone:
Take one pound of mascarpone cheese (2 cups) and thoroughly mix with 1/4 cup of confectioners sugar, and one teaspoon each of fresh lemon juice and vanilla extract.

Hardware:
Set of six, 3" diameter tartlet pans (I like the shiny tin ones from Williams and Sonoma. They're French, don't cha know, and their surface is perfect—your dough won't stick, but neither will it slip and shrink while baking like non-stick surfaces tend to do.)

OR: a 10" round tart pan with removable bottom.

How:
Blend together flour, sugar, salt, and butter in a larger bowl, either with your fingertips or a pastry blender until mixture resembles coarse meal. You can also do this in a food processor. Mixture should look like this:

Beat together the egg yolk, water, and vanilla then pour into middle of flour mixture and use fork to stir until a rough dough forms. Again, you can also do this in a food processor.

Then, pour mixture out onto a clean, lightly floured surface, and knead very briefly until a dough forms:

DO NOT OVER MIX or your tart dough will be tough.

Form dough into a flat disk about 5" around, wrap in wax paper, and refrigerate for 30 minutes or up to overnight.

Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees F. with rack placed in the middle of the oven.

Once dough is thoroughly chilled, take out of fridge and roll out into a round disk about 1/4" thick. Use tartlet pans to cut out perfectly formed disks and press those disks evenly into the pans, building up a kind of ridge at the top. Place tartlets on a larger baking pan.

Line each pan with a small piece of tin foil and fill with pie weights or beans to weigh down. Place in oven and bake for 20 minutes. Take pan from oven and carefully remove foil and weights. Place back in oven and cook another 15-20 minutes, turning once, until shells are an all over uniform deep golden brown. Cool in pans about 30-45 minutes.

To assemble your tartlets, spread about two tablespoons of mascarpone in each tart shell. Then, top with strawberries and drizzle the balsamic vinegar glaze over the top.

EAT!

Fruitcake in Christmasville

2009-12-18T13:47:00.000-08:00

Because I bake, each year around this time a few poor confuzzled souls will grab me by the upper arms, beseech me with widened eyes, and ask me to tell them, please, if there is, somewhere, somehow, some way a fruitcake recipe that doesn't suck butt.

To which I sadly reply, "No."

However, that does not mean one cannot successfully mix fruit and cake. You just have to stay away from those weirdly colored pieces of stained glass window shards masquerading as "fruit" that, when mixed with a batter of equally puzzling construction, results in something more appropriate to tossing at the heads of our New World Leaders at Climate Change Summits than actually imbibing at Christmastime with a steaming hot cup of Joe.

Non. What you want to make is THIS cake. I originally started making it a few years ago when I had a direct connection to fresh-off-the-tree Italian plums. You know, those little oval shaped, dark blue babies that look like Concord grapes on steroids and taste like all the angels in heaven disco dancing in your mouth? Mah, gawd, I loves me those plums. But my source has since dried up, so I moved on to using pineapple. Just. As. Tasty.

What:
2 sticks unsalted butter
2 cups granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 large eggs
3 cups white all purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 cup plain yogurt
Zest of one small orange
Zest of one lemon
Juice of one lemon
2 tablespoons Grand Marnier or other orange-flavored liqueur
2 cups diced plums or pineapple cut into 1/2 inch pieces
1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans
Confectioners sugar for dusting tops of loaves

How:
Preheat oven to 350º F. Butter and flour two 9x5x2 loaf pans or spray with non-stick baking spray.

Wash and dry the plums and, leaving skin on, dice into 1/2 inch pieces. Alternatively, thoroughly drain a 14-ounce can of chunk pineapple and pat dry with paper towels. Place fruit in a separate bowl and toss with 2 tablespoons of flour to coat. Set aside.

Sift together flour, salt, cream of tartar, and baking soda in a separate bowl and set aside.

Measure out yogurt into glass measuring cup and mix in the lemon juice and lemon and orange zest. Set aside.

In mixing bowl, cream butter, sugar, and vanilla together until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, mixing well and scraping down bowl in between additions. Alternate yogurt mixture with dry ingredients, mixing well and scraping down bowl in between each addition. Mix in orange liqueur. Then stir in fruit and nuts until evenly incorporated.

Divide batter evenly between the two pans and bake in oven for 55-60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle of the loaf comes out completely clean. Let pans cool 10 minutes in pan before inverting onto a cooling rack. Cool completely. Dust with powdered sugar, slice, and serve.

Since the base of this cake is essentially a pound cake, the result is a dense but moist crumb that actually is better the second day. Will keep at room temperature, wrapped tightly, for about 3-4 days, in refrigerator for 5-7 days, and in freezer for several months.

P.S. These are Italian plums. Smaller, more oval in shape, sweeter, and to me, tastier, than regular plums.

The Break Up Cookie

2009-09-22T17:56:00.000-07:00

Seriously, Party People, was it really February that I last posted something on here? Mah, gawd, what have I been DOING all this time? I know I've been baking because, well, hardly a week or so goes by that I don't. I just haven't been posting.

Well, now, let's just break the dry spell with a cookie, shall we? I know, I know, it's a summer cookie, but I also know there are those among my readership who live in perpetual summer, and those for whom cold weather is rapidly approaching like a dog running down a rabbit, which means you're probably needing a little bit o' the islands in your life right about now.

This cookie comes straight out of Nancy Baggett's award-winning The All-American Cookie Book, which is not only a great baking book but also a great overview of the cookie's genesis in the U.S. This is one of several citrus glazed, shortbread-style cookies in the book, and it's simply melt-in-your-mouth irresistible.

A cautionary note: A couple summers ago, I put a platter of them out at happy hour, at which a good friend and her brand new beau were in attendance.

"No, no," the beau said, waving me away. "I'm not much of a sweets person."

"Oh, you'll eat these," said S.B. knowingly.

Sure enough, the beau proceeded to shovel about a dozen of these down his gullet over the course of an hour, as a result suffering one heck of a tummy ache later on that evening, no doubt putting a damper on whatever romantic plans the newly blissed-out couple had in store for each other.

Regardless. My friend eventually Dear Johned him. Most likely a good choice, because not 24 hours had passed after the break up and he called me in tears, begging me to explain what he could have possibly done wrong. I politely begged off, stating it was quite simply none of my business. But before hanging up, he said something that did endear me slightly to his plight: "And I'll never get to eat those cookies again!"

KEY LIME FROSTIES:

For the cookie dough:
2-1/2 cups all purpose white flour
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature and slightly softened
1/4 cup flavorless vegetable oil
1 cup powdered sugar
1 large egg
1 tablespoon finely grated lime zest (colored part only)
2 teaspoons finely grated lemon zest (colored part only)
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice (Key limes preferred)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon lemon extract (or 1 teaspoon lemon juice)

For the glaze:
1-1/3 cups powdered sugar
1-1/2 teaspoons finely grated lime zest (colored part only)
1-1/2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
1 teaspoon light corn syrup
1 tiny drop of green liquid food coloring
1 tiny drop of yellow liquid food coloring

(Note about lemons and limes: I have discovered that all total, you'll need one lemon and 3-4 regular sized limes or 5-6 key limes for the recipe.)

In a medium bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside. In a large bowl with an electric mixer or in a stand mixer, beat together butter, oil, and powdered sugar until well blended, about a minute. Scrape down bowl, increase speed to high, and beat until very well blended, about another minute. Add the egg, lime and lemon zests, lime juice, vanilla, and lemon extract (or juice) and beat until very light and smooth. Turn mixer to low and beat in flour mixture until evenly incorporated. Refrigerate dough for 2 hours or until firm enough to handle.

Preheat oven to 350º F. Grease several baking sheets or line with Silpat mats.

Shape portions of the dough into 1-inch diameter balls. Place on baking sheets about 1-1/2 inches apart. Bake one sheet at a time in upper third of the oven for about 15 minutes or until lightly tinged with brown at the edges. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool completely.

Once cookies are thoroughly cooled, stir together all the ingredients for the glaze, including the food coloring, until mixture is completely smooth and satiny. Adjust texture as necessary with drops of water or small bits of powdered sugar to produce a fluid glaze that isn't runny.

Set wire racks with cookies over sheets of plastic wrap or newspaper to catch drips. Gently dip the tops of each cookies into the glaze, swirl briefly to coat and set back down on rack to set completely, at least one hour. Or, drip glaze over each cookie with a small spoon, being careful to coat completely.

These will keep their freshest for about a week and freeze nicely for up to two months.

Love in My Tummy

2009-02-12T16:45:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day can either be a day of romantic anticipation or a day of romantic disappointment. For me, it's a day to bake. Food is love, folks. Food is love. Unless it's a big ol' chubby ass diamond something-or-other, in which case, stick the bling inside the cake and just tell me to be careful.

This year I decided to follow the heart-felt theme and make red velvet cupcakes. Actually, I made them two weeks ago for a party with my wine group and as an homage to Elvis's birthday, but I did stow a half dozen in the freezer for this weekend. Since I'm too lazy at this point to pull them out and frost for a true blue photo, I copped this one off the Web instead. So, shoot me. But then believe me when I tell you, they look EXACTLY the same.

The thing about Red Velvet Cupcakes is, they're fun. Okay, despite the slightly freakish color, they can actually taste good – there's enough cocoa in them to give them a chocolaty kick (which comes in handy in case your Valentine's Day starts heading towards the Kleenex), and who in their right mind doesn't love a luscious cream cheese icing? But most importantly, they look cool and you can decorate them with all kinds of fun chocolate or candy heart thingees or little plastic bow and arrows. Or, if your mood is swinging the other way, little plastic devil horns.

And, of course, the absolute BEST thing about cupcakes is they're already pre-portion controlled, clocking in at about, oh, I dunno, 300 calories each, frosting and all. Unless you decide to have two, in which case I can't help you there. But I do understand.

The cake portion of this recipe comes straight out of an interesting little book by Linda West Eckhardt called Cakes from Scratch in Half the Time. I've made a lot of things out of here, and mostly the recipes – and the advice to bake at 400 degrees for half the normal time – come out great.

So come on, put a little love in your heart:

For 24 cupcakes or two 9-inch round regular cakes:

2-1/4 cups of cake flour

1 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons cocoa

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 cup vegetable shortening (Crisco)

1-1/2 cups granulated sugar

2 large eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 cup buttermilk

1 one-ounce bottle of red food coloring (2 tablespoons)

1 teaspoon white wine vinegar

1 teaspoon baking soda

Preheat oven to 400º F and line two twelve-cupcake cupcake pans with cupcake liners.

Sift together flour, salt, cocoa powder, and baking powder. Set aside. In mixing bowl, cream sugar and vegetable shortening at high speed for 3-4 minutes, scraping bowl at least once. Add eggs one at a time, beating well and scraping bowl after each addition.

Stir together the vanilla, buttermilk, and food coloring in a glass measuring cup. Add to the batter in thirds, alternating with the flour, cocoa, salt, and baking powder mixture, scraping down bowl after each addition. Turn off mixer. Stir together the vinegar and the baking soda – it will foam – in a glass bowl and fold into the batter using a spatula or wooden spoon.

Quickly fill each cupcake tin 2/3 full and bake in the middle of the oven for 10-12 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into middle of a cupcake comes out clean. You can start checking at 8 minutes.

Cool for 10 minutes in the pan, then remove. Cool completely and frost with the following:

Yummy Cream Cheese Icing:

1 pound (16 ounces) cream cheese, room temperature

2 sticks butter, room temperature

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

4 cups confectioners sugar

Cream sugar, butter, and vanilla together until smooth, scraping down bowl at least once. Sift the confectioner's sugar into the mix and beat until incorporated. Turn mixer on high and beat until very light and fluffy, about 1-2 minutes.

Sweet Overload

2008-12-04T07:51:00.001-08:00

Aunty Belle has requested my recipe for the Mexican hot chocolate I mention as a fitting accompaniment to the biscochito recipe I posted below.

Look out, though. This is seriously sweet stuff. Pair it with the biscochito or any other sugary delight and you could enter the Sweet Overload Zone, a state of sugar induced euphoria that is not, I repeat NOT, for amateurs.

Moi's Mega (Nuevo) Mexican Hot Chocolate
Makes 4 servings. Recipe can easily be doubled.

2 ounces bittersweet chocolate – don't skimp; get the good stuff like Valrhona – grated or finely chopped
2 cups whole milk
1 cup heavy cream (Your arteries are groaning, you say? Ignore them. They'll shut up.)
1/4 cup granulated white sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 egg
1-1/2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
1 teaspoon New Mexico ground red chile powder, preferably Chimayo

In a heavy saucepan over low heat, combine chocolate, milk, cream, sugar, cinnamon, and chile powder and heat until steaming hot, stirring constantly with a wire whisk or wooden spoon. DO NOT let mixture come to a boil.

Remove from heat.

In a small bowl, beat egg and vanilla with a wire whisk until frothy. Very, very slowly, add a half cup of the chocolate/milk mixture in a thin stream to the egg/vanilla mixture, stirring the entire time with a wire whisk. Then place the chocolate/milk mixture back on the stove add the egg/vanilla mixture slowly in a thin stream, stirring with a wire whisk. The point here is to do this slowly and carefully, so you don't end up with scrambled eggs. That would be yucky.

Cook mixture over low heat, stirring constantly, until once again hot but not boiling.

Remove from heat and with a wire whisk or rotary beater, beat the mixture until frothy. You should see a definite foam form, as in the photo above. Immediately pour into mugs, making sure each is topped with foam.

The Cookie Comes on Little Pig Feet

2008-12-02T06:41:00.001-08:00

What the buffalo was to the Plains Indians and other Native Americans, I believe the pig is to modern humankind. Or, at least, it should be. For its gifts are prodigious and worthy of worship. From the pig we get not only an unbelievably tasty, moist, and healthful meat, but also ham, bacon, proscuitto, chorizo, Italian sausage, and cracklins. Not to mention the hands down best cooking fat in existence: Lard.

It's incredible stuff and you can read all about it by logging onto www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lard.

Here, I want to sing its praises as the main ingredient in the biscochito, a cookie that is near and dear to my heart, not only for its flavor (a fragrant mixture of anise, cinnamon, and sherry), but also for its famous texture, which resides somewhere between a sugar cookie and shortbread. Irresistible.

Okay, so I'm probably prejudiced. After all, biscochitos ARE the New Mexico state cookie, as much a part of our holiday celebrations as tamales and midnight mass, and I've been sucking on the things since infancy. You can, of course, eat them year round, but to me their spiciness is a little too heady for July. Best saved for this time of year, served after dinner with a glass of port or a mug of Mexican hot chocolate. And you can't ask for a better cookie to pair with coffee in the mornings.

Probably the best thing about biscochitos is that they are super easy to make. The dough is pliable without being sticky, and it can take multiple handlings and rollings out without affecting the final cookie's texture. They freeze beautifully, too. In fact I always store mine in the freezer and pull out one or two – or an entire batch – as I need them. Just give them a couple minutes to warm back up and they're good to go. If you don't freeze them, make sure you store them in a super airtight bin away from any humidity. You want them to keep their crunch.

So, here you go. Moi's Family Recipe.

What:
1 cup Snow Cap lard, at room temperature*
3/4 cup granulated white sugar
1-1/2 to 2 teaspoons coarsely crushed anise seed (make sure seed is fresh)
1 egg, lightly beaten
1/4 cup sherry, preferably Harvey's Bristol Creme (you may also substitute bourbon, brandy, or red wine)
3 cups white all purpose baking flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup granulated white sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

How:
Preheat oven to 350ºF.

Sift flour, baking powder, and salt into a large bowl. Set aside.

Cream lard, sugar, and anise seed on medium high speed until light and fluffy. Add the lightly beaten egg and continue to mix on high speed until incorporated. Alternate the quarter cup of sherry with the dry ingredients until dough begins to form. Stop mixer and scrape out contents onto a lightly floured work surface and work dough quickly into a uniform mass. The dough should be soft, but not sticky. If too sticky, work in some more flour. Pat out to about an inch thick and place on a platter, cover with plastic wrap, and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

In the meantime, combine 1/2 cup sugar and 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon in a small bowl.

Once dough is refrigerated, roll out onto a lightly floured work surface to 1/4" thickness. Cut dough into desired shapes and place on lightly greased cookie sheet. In my experience, the dough is soft enough to remain attached to the cookie cutter, which makes the shapes easy to pop out onto the sheet. If they stick to your work surface, use a thin metal spatula to release.

Sprinkle the top of each cookie with the sugar/cinnamon mixture.

Bake in oven for 10-13 minutes, or until cookies are lightly browned at the edges.

Once out of the oven, they are extremely delicate. Let them sit on the baking sheet for 10 minutes to firm up slightly. Then transfer to a wire rack to cool.

Makes about 36 cookies. Recipe may be doubled.

* I know people who make these cookies with butter and to me the texture is NOT the same. So unless you are a vegetarian (in which case you'll want to use vegetable shortening), please, use lard. Your cookie will be better for it.

Life Itself is the Proper Binge

2008-11-04T11:55:00.000-08:00

In Moi's Pantheon of Heroes from which I draw daily (if not hourly, depending on how the day is going) inspiration, Julia Child resides most certainly at the top tier of the dais. While it was my mother who taught me the basics of cooking and baking – and to not be ashamed of deriving joy from their practice and those of the other domestic arts – it was Julia who took that satisfaction and showed me its possibilities for the sublime.

Especially when it comes to baked goods. And when it comes to baked goods, you can't get any better in your instruction than Baking With Julia (the companion book to the television series). While I am as certain as death and taxes that I will never again make puff pastry or fig-filled X Cookies (at least not sober), when it comes to almost every other recipe, this is most definitely my go-to baking book.

It also contains what Julia herself declares with her usual inimitable assurance as the best brownie recipe ever.

Thus speaks Julia:

Those who are passionate about brownies argue in defense of their favorite type, cakey or fudgey. If you're a cakey fan, go on to another recipe. These are the epitome of soft, dark, baked-just-until-barely-set brownies. Their creamy texture makes them seem wildly luxurious and very much a treat to be meted out in small servings.

Except for the small serving part, I agree wholeheartedly. I've made these brownies a bazillion times, in summer and in the dead of winter, early in the morning and late at night, and they are perfection every time.

So in case you have not just run out and bought the book (what, what are you waiting for?), I present to you the recipe in its entirety, with a couple of small tweaks that you can adopt – or not – as you wish.

SERVES 18 (uh, well, maybe)

1 1/4 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
8 ounces unsalted butter
4 ounces unsweetened chocolate, coarsely chopped
2 ounces bittersweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
2 cups granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 large eggs
1-1/2 teaspoons New Mexico red chile powder – optional
3/4 teaspoons cinnamon – optional

Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 350° (To me, 350 is never hot enough for baking, AND I live at 7,000 feet – so I bake these at 365. You should be fine doing so as well, but check on the texture after 25 minutes to be sure.)
Sift the flour and salt together and set aside (if using chile and cinnamon, sift in as well).
Melt the butter and chocolate together in a medium saucepan over low heat, stirring frequently and keeping a watchful eye on the pot to make certain the chocolate doesn’t scorch (Alternatively, you can melt the ingredients in the top of a double boiler over, not touching, simmering water. Or, if you're an experienced microwave chocolate melter, go for it.) Add 1 cup of the sugar to the mixture and stir for half a minute, then remove the pan from the heat and stir in the vanilla.
Pour the mixture into a large bowl.
Put the remaining 1 cup sugar and the eggs into a bowl and mix or whisk by hand just to combine.
Little by little, pour half of the sugar and eggs into the chocolate mixture, stirring gently but constantly with a rubber spatula so that the eggs don’t set from the heat.
Fit the whisk attachment to the mixer and whip the remaining sugar and eggs until they are thick, pale, and doubled in volume, about 3 minutes.
Using the rubber spatula, delicately fold the whipped eggs into the chocolate mixture.
When the eggs are almost completely incorporated, gently fold in the dry ingredients.
Pour and scrape the batter in to an unbuttered 9-inch square pan.
Bake the brownies for 25-28 minutes, during which time they will rise a little and the top will turn dark and dry. (I'm not sure if it's a high altitude thing or not, but at 28 minutes, the batter is still liquidy – I bake 35-40 minutes. Follow Julia's instructions and then up the amount of baking time if necessary).
Cut into the center at about the 23-minute mark to see how the brownies are progressing: they’ll be perfect if they’re just barely set and still pretty gooey. (This is true, but again, see above.)
They’re still awfully good on the other side of set, so don’t worry if you miss the moment on your first try.
Cool the brownies in the pan on a rack.

A word about nuts: Never in a brownie, as far as I'm concerned, but if you insist, a cup of your favorite chopped and folded in gently after the dry ingredients will do ya.

And lookie, the texture is to die for. (Clicky photo for much larger, more mouthwatering, view.)

What I like best is the little crust that forms on the top – lovely texture contrast.

The Word I Hate To Speak

2008-06-12T10:08:00.001-07:00

But love to eat. Which is why I continue to struggle to make m-u-f-f-i-n-s. Because the ones you buy in the store? I dunno. They always taste either way overloaded with sugar and chemicals or like something you'd get if a troop of hippies spent all morning stoned to the gills on really, really good whatever it is stoners like to smoke, listening to "Suite for Judy Blue Eyes" over and over on the stereo, and then decided to bake. Dude.

Anyway. Emma, I didn't forget about you. I've just been really, really busy. And I made these back in, oh, God, May I think. Two recipes. Both from my handy dandy Williams and Sonoma Muffins cookbook. The first recipe, for carrot-nut muffins, is all earth mother crunchy. About the only thing they're good for is hiking, 'cause if you're seven miles into a trek up the side of a mountain and the last meal you had was four hours ago, you'll eat just about anything. The second, however, I think approaches near muffin perfection in terms of texture and taste. The first is made with oil. The second with butter. Proving, once again, my theory that nothing on God's great green earth despite the Mojave, beats butterfat.

See what you think.

Carrot-Nut Muffins

What:
4 large eggs
1 cup canola or walnut oil
2 cups granulated sugar
3 cups all purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon allspice
12 ounces shredded carrots
1-1/2 cups coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans (or any nut of choice, really)

How:
Preheat oven to 350º F. Spray 24 standard muffin or 16 large muffin cups (will give you larger muffins) with non-stick spray.

Sift all dry ingredients, minus carrots and nuts, together in large bowl. Set aside.

In bowl of electric stand mixer, combine the eggs, oil, and sugar and beat for one minute on medium speed. Add sifted dry ingredients and beat on low speed until smooth. If you're pretty burly, do this by hand with a sturdy wooden spoon.

Then, using a large spatula, fold in the carrots and nuts until combined.

Fill muffin cups 3/4 of the way full with batter.

Bake 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into middle comes out clean. Let cool 5 minutes before un-molding.

See, even the batter looks crunchy:

And the end result. See that weird texture? That's what you get with oil.

Lemon-Poppy Seed Muffins

What:
1/2 cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
2/3 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs, separated
1-1/3 cups all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons poppy seeds
grated zest of 2 lemons
1/2 cup buttermilk
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 tablespoons coarse raw sugar

How:
Preheat oven to 350ºF. Spray 10 standard muffin cups with non-stick spray.

Stir together flour, baking powder, baking soda, poppy seeds, lemon zest, and salt. Set aside.

In bowl of electric stand mixer, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add egg yolks, one at a time, and beat well after each addition until fully incorporated. Add the dry ingredients to the mixture in two batches, alternating with the buttermilk, then the lemon juice and vanilla. Beat just until smooth.

In another large bowl, beat the two egg whites until they form soft peaks. Gently fold into the batter until just blended.

Fill muffin cups 3/4 of the way full. Sprinkle the top of each with some raw sugar.

Bake 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into middle comes out clean. Let cool 5 minutes before un-molding.

See? Pretttttyyyyy.

Birthday Pie

2008-03-27T07:08:00.000-07:00

In response to Da Troll’s challenge to come up with a pie to celebrate Secretariat’s birthday on this Sunday, March 30th, I thought I would present to you one of my all-time favorite pies. Y’all most likely know this one. It’s scandalously easy, and oh-so-cheesy and I mean that figuratively, like, in a very 1970s way.

Lately, I've been on this 1970s kick. The fashion, the décor. Trans Ams. Famolares. Farrah Fawcett hair. Those little round, bright yellow radios on chains – remember those? – playing Terry Jacks' "Season in the Sun" over and over and over. AND, Secretariat was born in 1970. So there you have it. The ‘70s were simply fab.

Anyway, I was introduced to the weird deliciousness of Pistachio Pineapple Pie by one of my Aunts, my father’s youngest sister, a woman of exceptional patience and humor who each summer for several years had the dubious honor of hosting me, my brother, my father, and my bazillion cousins at her house in Massachusetts. How this woman put up with all our happy asses for two whole months, camped out as we were on her back lawn, running savage through the neighborhood, eating her out of house and home, I’ll never know. I should ask her one day. I wouldn’t be surprised if her answer was: “Percoset.” She did, after all, work for a dentist for a while.

At any rate, one of her favorite things to do with us was bake. Seriously. Five bazillion of us kids in her kitchen at one time, only two of us girls, making, among other things, this pie. And when it was finished, she’d mock-screech at us: “Now out of my hair and my kitchen, you little horrors [it always came out hah-ruhs – she may have been living in suburban New England bliss, but she was NYC born ‘n’ raised]. No pie for you until after dinner.”

And although I am posting this recipe in honor of a birth, I must also tell you one other association I have with this dessert. It was the pie we ate in silent solemnity the night my uncle came home, eyes rimmed red, his face slack, to tell us that Elvis Presley had just died.

Enjoy.

What:
1 16 oz. can crushed pineapple, undrained
1 four person-serving package of instant pistachio-flavored Jell-O pudding
1 16 oz. tub Cool Whip
1 graham cracker crust, preferably homemade, but whatever, for 9" round pie pan
1 cup whipped cream, whipped up until stiff and fluffy, with two tablespoons sugar
1/2 cup chopped pistachios, unsalted

How:
In a large mixing bowl, stir together pineapple with juice and Cool Whip. Sprinkle in pudding, a little at a time, and whip well to avoid lumps. Poor into crust. Put in refrigerator and let set until firm, 2-3 hours. Top with the whipped cream and chopped pistachios.

Make Cake, Not War

2008-02-22T07:01:00.001-08:00

Recently, the Troll, one of Moi's 3.75 male readers, posted a recipe for what looks like a really yummy apple cake as a comment in response to one of Moi's posts. I think he posted out of sheer frustration over yet another one of my guy-mystifying ruminations on fashion, which I'm sure makes the Troll's brain itch. Most likely, he wants me to get back to posting something political, just so he can poke fun at Moi's libertarian viewpoints (are Libertarians True Conservatives or Raving Lunatics Who Just Want a Second Amendment Excuse to Wave Around their New 9mm Glocks While Drinking Martinis? Discuss.)

But, really, fashion hurts Moi's brain less than navigating the murky waters of today's pool of poleetical candidates.

So as penance, I'm posting the Troll's recipe. I've made similar cakes before and I can attest that apple cake is totally yummy. But, usually, like this one, nekkid. So I posted a suggested frosting, too.

Apple Cake:

1-1/2 cups granulated sugar
3 cups sifted flour
1 tsp. Baking Soda
1/2 tsp. Kosher Salt
1 tsp. Cinnamon
3 cups thin sliced Granny Smith apples
1-1/2 cups Wesson Oil (note from Moi: a very light virgin olive oil works, too)
2 eggs slightly beaten
2 tsp. Vanilla
1/2 cup Coconut
1/2 cup Walnuts

Preheat oven to 350º F. Grease and flour a 9x13 pan.

Mix sugar, flour, soda, salt and cinnamon. Add apples and mix until well-coated. Add oil, eggs, vanilla, coconut and walnuts. Pour into pan and bake for one hour.

Then come up with a good frosting of your own creation if desired.

To frost, I suggest:

Fluffy White Frosting:
1 cup milk
1/4 cup flour
1 cup granulated sugar
2 sticks butter, softened but not melted
1 tsp. Vanilla

In a large saucepan over low heat, combine the milk, flour, and sugar and cook, stirring constantly, until a pudding-like consistency is achieved. Transfer into mixing bowl of a stand mixer and allow to cool to room temperature. When cooled, add softened butter and vanilla and beat until fluffy. Frost cake.

What would YOU top this cake with?

Green Chile Chicken Enchilada Pie

2008-01-29T13:54:00.000-08:00

If you happened to have read Moi's post on New Mexico's most famous and lucrative cash crop, and wondered, "That's all very well and good, but what do you all actually do with the stuff?" here's your answer.

You grow up in New Mexico, you can bet your family has in its recipe vaults some version or another of this enchilada casserole. No, we did not invent enchiladas. Just enchilada pie. It's as authentically New Mexican as you can get, comfort food at its finest.

This recipe was bestowed upon my mother by one of my home town's most venerable cooks. My mom passed it on to me. Now I pass it along to you.

What:
2-3 cups authentic New Mexican green chiles, skin and seeds removed (24 to 30 chiles)
1 small yellow onion, finely chopped
4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
2 11 ounce cans of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup, uncooked, straight out of can
12 ounces of real, full fat sour cream
1-1/2 pounds cooked chicken breast chopped into bite-sized pieces
1 tablespoon ground cumin
1 tablespoon ground coriander
1 tablespoon authentic New Mexican red chile powder
3/4 tablespoon salt
1/2 tablespoon fresh ground black pepper
2 tablespoons Harvey's Bristol Cream Sherry
18 6" corn tortillas
8 ounces shredded sharp cheddar cheese

How:

Chop green chiles into bite-sized pieces. Place in big mixing bowl.

Add the chopped onion and garlic, soup, sour cream, chicken, spices, and sherry. Mix well.

Spray a 9x13 glass pan with non-stick cooking spray and line with six corn tortillas. They come in packages like so, the best being our locally manufactured Bueno Brand.
In fact, these fine folks, who I know well, are your best resource for all things authentically New Mexican, from spices to tortillas to frozen chile and pre-made dinners. Check em out at: http://www.buenofoods.com/

Anyway. This is how your lined pan will look:

Then, place one third of your chile/chicken mixture on top and spread evenly to the sides. Sprinkle with a third of the shredded cheddar cheese. Repeat two more times, for a total of three layers.

At this point, you can cover the casserole with heavy duty aluminum foil and freeze for up to six months, un-thawing overnight in the refrigerator before baking. If ready to bake now, simply pop into a pre-heated 375º F oven for 45-60 minutes, let sit for five minutes before serving, cut, and serve with a side of refried pinto beans, Spanish rice, and a dollop of even more sour cream.

As for liquid accompaniment, I find that the only wine that really pairs well with New Mexican cooking is, well, a New Mexican wine. Before any you oenophiles get all precious on Moi, know this: New Mexico is the oldest wine producing region in all of North America. They make wines here that will knock your socks off, so there. One of them, IMHO, is Santa Fe Vineyards's Tinto del Sol, a medium -bodied Cabernet blend with a rosy nose that brings out the best in either red or green chile. Ponderosa Valley Vineyards also makes a superlative Riesling, whose character is bold but sweet enough not to get overpowered by the chile. Otherwise, just save the strain on your brain and serve the pie with a good Mexican beer.

El Perfecto Chocolate Mousse

2008-01-21T14:08:00.001-08:00

It's my contention that more words have been wasted debating the proper texture of chocolate mousse than that of any other dessert in the known universe. (Well, except maybe cobbler.) Which is why I nearly didn't post a chocolate mousse recipe. For some, the only proper mousse is something that bears a striking resemblance to cotton candy - light, airy, and elusive on the tongue. Still others turn their noses up in disgust at anything that doesn't resemble a texture so dense, it's like a fudge gone wrong – you can literally stand your spoon stick straight up in the middle of it, go dancing around the room in your underwear, and then come back to check and, yup, the spoon's still standing at attention where you left it.

I tend to lean towards dense myself. One, because it means you have to cook the egg yolks – an extra step, I know, but what price extra step if it means the immuno-compromised in your bunch won't fall over dead from salmonella poisoning once the dessert course is finished?

And two, dense means I can scoop the mousse out all pretty-like into melon ball sized servings and hence curtail my normal impulse to ingest an entire martini-glass full of the stuff like the little piggy that I am. Although, yeah, from the photo above, it sure does look like I'm about to ingest more than just a melon ball full, that's for sure. But I'm suffering with the hanta virus crud, and it's now three days into my terrible, terrible sickness, and I am therefore finding that there is little left to live for in this world except chocolate mousse. And Canada Dry Ginger Ale.

Now join me, won't you, in my sickness:

What:
6 ounces bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped (or chips)
1 cup heavy cream
2 large eggs
Pinch salt
1/3 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla

How:
Put the chocolate in a large sized heatproof bowl. Melt at 50 percent power in the microwave for about a minute. Stir. Keep melting in minute increments until almost melted. Stir to complete the job.

Whip the cream in a medium bowl until it holds soft peaks. Do not over whip (you'll know you've done so when it begins to look like butter, so stop just at the soft peak stage before complete anarchy ensues). Set aside.

Fill a medium saucepan halfway with water and set on the stove to boil.

Put the eggs, salt, and sugar into the bowl of an electric stand mixer, grab a big ol' balloon whisk and beat until foamy and light, about 30 seconds. Set the bowl over the boiling water (the water should just touch the bottom of the bowl; if not, add or subtract as necessary), and continue to whip with the whisk until the eggs get very fluffy and hot to the touch, about 3 minutes. I know, it's hard, but you must keep whisking briskly, otherwise you'll get scrambled eggs and cuss a blue streak my way, when really, it will be your own damn fault. At any rate, think of it as a bicep workout and suck it up.

Remove the bowl from the heat, attach to stand mixer, and continue beating on high speed with the balloon whisk attachment until a thick ribbon falls from the whisk when lifted out of the bowl, anywhere from 3 to 5 minutes more. If mixture is still hot, allow to cool to room temperature. Fold in the vanilla.

Fold about a quarter of the eggs into the chocolate to lighten it, then fold in the rest of the egg mixture. Finally, fold the whipped cream into the entire mixture and fold and fold (or, because I know your arm has just about had it by now, go ahead and just stir and stir – it won't really affect the texture) until everything has been uniformly blended into a smooth, light mousse.

Pour the mousse into 4 serving dishes or wine glasses. Cover and refrigerate until set, about 1 hour. Damn the cholesterol and serve with even more whipped cream on top. And chocolate sprinkles. And/or biscotti. Really, the possibilities are endless.

Alternatively, leave the mixture in the bowl, let set another hour longer in the fridge, and then scoop out with one of those cute melon ball scoopers into small bowls or dishes and impress your friends with the preciousness of it all.

As God Is My Witness

2007-12-31T07:18:00.000-08:00

I'll never make pralines the old-fashioned way again.

Because in the three years I've dedicated myself to finding the perfect praline recipe, not only have I ingested enough sugar to keep all the dentists in the known universe in Mercedes and strippers, I have also reached levels of frustration that no one with my sensibility should ever have to reach. Yes, I like a challenge. What I do not like, is beating my head against a wall. It hurts.

To be sure, candy-making is fussy, fussy business. First, there are the vagaries of temperature – soft ball, hard ball, crackle stage. Then the chemistry involved in sugar crystal formation. Or, in the case of pralines, inhibited sugar crystal formation. Because nothing is worse than a grainy praline. Or one that's rock hard. The perfect praline is, instead, the absolute perfect melding of sugar, cream, butter, vanilla, and pecans into a creamy, melt-in-your-mouth confection that is firm but never crisp. And never, ever rock hard. That's brittle, Party People, not pralines.

Anyway. Over the past three years, I'd say I've reached success about 67.23 percent of the time. The other 32 some odd times, I ended up with either puddle or brittle. And a bit of a cry.

But no more. Our first night in Louisiana, my mother-in-law naturally laid out a bounteous spread for Christmas Eve noshing. 'Course, my focus was all on the sweet stuff – the chocolate pudding cake, the lemon ice box pie, the divinity, the fudge, and, oooo, what's this? A plate of perfect-looking pralines? So, I inquired, you've obviously mastered the trick of it. No, my mother-in-law replied. There is no trick. It's all done in the microwave.

Really?

Really.

Of course, I was blessed with the recipe, courtesy MIL's friend Nell Rogers. And I finally felt sufficiently de-stuffed last night to give these a go.

They're pretty much near perfect. The only difference I notice is perhaps a tad less depth of flavor that I believe is probably best achieved with the long-ass slow-cook time necessitated by the traditional method, which allows the caramel flavors to bloom more fully. Still. I think these are delicious enough to warrant the slight loss.

So, without further hesitation, here is Ms Rogers' recipe, with only one addition by Moi:

Perfect Pralines:

What:
16 ounces (one pound or two cups) firmly packed light brown sugar
8 ounces (one cup) cream
2 tablespoons light corn syrup (Moi's addition)
2 tablespoons butter, cut into small pieces
2 teaspoons vanilla
1-1/2 cup pecan halves (toasted if you wish*)

How:

Lay out two sheets of newspaper at least four pages thick along kitchen counter and cover with wax paper.

Into a large, deep microwave-proof bowl, stir together the brown sugar, cream, and corn syrup. Microwave on high for about 10 minutes, or until a candy thermometer reaches 235º F or the soft ball stage (check your mixture at 8 minutes).

Remove bowl from microwave (Carefully. The bowl will be super duper hot, so use your mittens and be careful not to drop. Likewise, resist all temptation to stick your finger into the mixture.) Immediately add the butter, vanilla, and pecan halves. Stir, stir, stir with a sturdy, long-handled wooden spoon until mixture starts to lose its sheen, cloud up, and thicken slightly, about a minute to two minutes. At that point, immediately spoon out onto your sheets of wax paper. The consistency we're looking for here is a mixture that will immediately hold its shape when dropped without spreading into a puddle, but not so thick you can't get it off the spoon. I've heard that if the mixture sets up too hard too quickly, you can add a tablespoon or so of water and re-microwave until you reach the proper consistency. But I think you've then blown the sugar crystal inhibition thing. Although, the product will probably taste just as good.

*To toast pecans, place pecan halves on a baking sheet and roast in pre-heated 350º F oven for 10-15 minutes, turning once. Be careful not to burn.

Enjoy. But one at a time. Otherwise, you may as well apply directly to your thighs and skip the mouth thing entirely.

When Life Hands Moi Tequila

2007-12-14T08:05:00.000-08:00

This comes courtesy of the Pirate, that fabulously swashbuckling funster who, when not dragging her mother on a 5K run in the middle of a snowstorm or leaping 10,000 foot high mountains in her rockin' running skort, is cruising around looking for as many bits of high hilarity as she can stuff into one day.

Which comes in awfully handy at times like this when life's tapping its foot at Moi and I can't get in the kitchen (I had biscochitos and pralines and brickle oh my in mind for y'all this weekend, sniff!).

This is for fun. I think. Right?

Christmas Tequila Cookies

1 cup dark brown sugar
1 cup (two sticks) butter
1 cup granulated sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit (dried cranberries or raisins)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans
2 cups all purpose flour
1 liter bottle Don Julio or Patron Tequila

First, sample the Tequila to check quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the Tequila to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour another 4 ounces in a measuring cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of the butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon sugar. Beat again.
At this point, it is best to make sure the Tequila is still OK.
Try another 4 ounces, just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, picking the frigging fruit off the floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a screwdriver.
Sample the Tequila to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt or shomething.
Check the Tequila.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Tequila and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Cherry Mistmas

S.B's Favorite Cookies

2007-12-09T14:40:00.000-08:00

Very few things make S.B. grumpy. Not having a batch of these cookies readily available at all times is one of them.

A simple oatmeal-raisin, you ask? When there are so many other fabulous, much more interesting cookies out there?

Don't fool yourself. These may be made with raisins and oats, but they're a delightfully decadent surprise – chock full of plump raisins, redolent of vanilla, and melt-in-your-mouth chewy/soft.

Now, go turn on that oven and whip yourself up a batch. If not for yourself, then for someone you love. Or even someone you don't. Nothing aides in diplomacy like baked goods.

What:
1-1/2 cups dark raisins
2 cups all-purpose white flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter
1 cup packed light brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
2 large eggs
2 tablespoons dark corn syrup
1 tablespoon vanilla
1-1/2 cups Quaker Oats (or similar quality brand, but not instant or quick)

How:
Place raisins in a small bowl and cover with hot water. Let sit for 15 minutes. Drain in a metal colander and set back over bowl to continue draining.

In the meantime:

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit. Prepare two cookie sheets by either spraying with non-stick baking spray or lining with Silpat.

Measure out all dry ingredients into a bowl and stir to combine. In the bowl of an electric stand mixer, place the butter and both sugars and whip together with the paddle attachment on medium speed until smooth and light, about a minute. Add the eggs, corn syrup, and vanilla and continue beating another two minutes, scraping down bowl after first minute. On low speed, slowly beat in dry ingredients just until incorporated. With a sturdy wooden spoon, fold in raisins and then oats.

Form heaping tablespoons of dough into balls and place on cookie sheets about 2" apart. Bake for 12-15 minutes or until edges turn light brown. If your oven bakes unevenly, reverse the sheet from front to back halfway through.

Transfer to a wire rack to cool.

Makes 48 cookies.

Will keep up to two weeks in an airtight container at room temperature, for about four months in the freezer (but they never last that long in Moi's house).

Other People's Cookies

2007-12-07T07:55:00.000-08:00

I'll be baking again this weekend. But in the meantime, I encourage you to click on this link to the Mighty She's post on her attempts at sugar cookie baking and decorating.

Hilarious. And just a tad, well, sad.

RIP chicken cookies . . .

Party Menu

2007-12-05T07:10:00.000-08:00

This weekend, Anonymous Boxer is hosting a holiday blog party and she's asked Moi to cater. Fabulous!

If there's anything I love more than an opportunity to actually bake, it's an opportunity to virtually bake. You know, to mull over in my mind all those terrific things I would set about to creating if only I had five bazillion hours in a lifetime and an unending supply of lottery winnings.

So, without further ado, I present:

Anonymous Boxer's Big Phat Holiday Blog Party Menu

The Hot Stuff Savory:
• Guacamole with red, white, and blue corn chips
• Chorizo and Monterey Jack cheese-stuffed jalapeño poppers
• Smoked turkey-stuffed wontons with chocolate/red chile/peanut dipping sauce
• Roasted green chile and onion tart

El Gringos Savory:
• Puff pastry cheddar cheese straws
• Bubbling artichoke dip with three cheeses and French bread rounds
• Baked lemon and garlic marinated shrimp skewers with vodka/tomato sauce dip
• Roasted pepper and balsamic vinegar salsa with baked tortilla triangles
• Tuna tartar with golden rye crisps
• Cool Ranch Doritos with sour cream and onion dip

The Sweets - One-Bite Cookies
• Scottish short bread cookies with lime glaze
• Mini bizcochitos
• Brownie cups

The Sweets - Sorta Guilt-Free
• Pineapple, strawberry, and kiwi chunks with chocolate/sour cream dipping sauce
• Tarte tatin
• Meringue drops

The Sweets - Fuggedabout it. Get on the treadmill in the morning.
• Pistachio divinity squares
• Pecan-bourbon pralines
• Cranberry-almond caramel tart
• Chocolate mousse balls with Kirsch-flavored whipped cream
• Chocolate cake

Woo With Pie

2007-11-30T09:09:00.000-08:00

In the early days of Moi's and SB's courtship, when I was trying to decide whether or not to enslave, er, date him long term, I went over to his place one afternoon to find him working away in the kitchen. Making this pie - Lemon Icebox Pie as his people way down South call it.

Lemon Icebox Pie was the deciding factor for Moi. I mean, there's nothing sexier than a man who cooks, don't cha think? Doesn't matter that once they got you, the only time they ever enter a kitchen ever, ever again is to pop a beer or stare forlornly at the contents of the refrigerator, whining that they can't find the milk when it's right there in front of them! (And I will say no more except: the fact that SB is the sexiest, smartest, funniest man alive has saved his happy ass on more than one occasion since.)

Anyway.

This pie is sooooooo good, it will be your go-to sweet for just about everything you need to accomplish with another human being: seduction, contrition, bribery, and utter happiness making.

What:
• 1 box 'Nilla Wafers

• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter (the Pirate tells Moi to go to Trader Joe's and buy Irish butter NOW), softened but not melted

• 1 14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk

• 4 large eggs, separated and at room temperature

• Finely grated peel of two large lemons*

• Juice of three large lemons, about 2/3 to 3/4 cup

How:
Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit.

Set aside 16 'Nilla wafers (and 5-6 more if, like Moi, you like to snack while baking). Place the rest of the cookies, along with the 2 tablespoons of softened butter, in the bowl of a food processor or blender and pulse until finely crushed. Pour into an 8" round pie pan and pat firmly and evenly along the bottom and up the sides. Ring the pan with the 16 'Nilla wafters, spacing evenly, like so:

Make filling by whisking together in a large bowl with a balloon whip the can of sweetened, condensed milk, the 4 egg yolks, lemon juice, and the grated lemon peel (* use the finest setting of a cheese grater for this, or a special tool called a microplane, and make sure you don't grate the bitter, white pith of the peel – just the bright yellow stuff). When finished whisking, mixture should have a pudding-like consistency.

Pour into pie shell:

Now, make the meringue topping like I told you.

Top pie.

Bake in the middle of the oven for 10-15 minutes, or until nicely (as opposed to meanly) browned:

Cool on wire rack about 1.5 hours. Refrigerate and chill, 3-4 hours before serving.

Hint: the cookies are a guide to how large a slice you should cut. You been good and done your exercises for the day? Cut a three-cookie slice. Vegged out all day? You may want to bump that down to one or two cookies there, ace.

Either way, pour a big ol' glass of milk to go with it and enjoy!

The Perfect Meringue

2007-11-29T14:30:00.000-08:00

For on top of a pie, that is. (Meringue for other things – cookies, icings, etc. – will be revealed in good time.)

I have spent, oh gawd, about a bazillion hours over the course of my lifetime trying to perfect just the right mile-high, melt-in-your-mouth meringue with which to top all manner of pies and cakes.

It's an obsession that led to much wailing and extra time on the treadmill, but, alas, no perfect meringue. Until my stepfather gave me for my birthday about five years back a set of Williams-Sonoma cookbooks. Inside one of them, Pie and Tart, is the Holy Grail of all pie topping meringues (insert parting the heavens theme music here).

In my opinion, it's what makes the Lemon Ice Box Pie, recipe to follow tomorrow, worth living for.

What:
1 scant tablespoon cornstarch
1/4 cup water
4 large egg whites, separated and at room temperature (but separate them right after coming out of the fridge – it's easier)
1/2 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/2 cup sugar

How:
In a small saucepan, whisk together cornstarch and water. Cook over medium heat, whisking constantly, until mixture thickens into an almost paste-like consistency. This happens pretty quickly (within about a minute), so watch carefully. As soon as it begins to thicken remove from heat and whisk until smooth. Cool completely.

This is how it will probably look:

Place room temperature egg whites and cream of tartar into the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the balloon whip attachment. On high speed, whip until foamy.

Then, reduce speed to medium and whip while slowly sprinkling in the 1/2 cup of sugar. Return to high speed and whip until whites form a ribbon that folds back on itself when beater is raised, about 1-2 minutes:

Stir in cornstarch mixture and beat on high speed until shiny, soft peaks form, about 2-3 minutes:

Resist all impulses to shovel spoonful after spoonful into mouth while vegging out in front of the television (making meringue is haaaard!)

Instead, top pie, forming fun spikes or curlicues (or, if you're emmak, naughty bits) and bake in 375 degree oven until the peaks brown, about 15 minutes.

Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love Cake

2007-11-13T14:06:00.000-08:00

(Before getting started, you may want to review the posts on tools and ingredients. Or, go ahead and live dangerously and jump right in.)

In honor of the fact that in just a few days, I am going to be visiting the home of one of my all-time idols, Mr. Elvis Aaron Presley, I thought that now would be an appropriate time to share with you one of my all-time favorite cakes – the Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love Cake.

I call it that because:

A. It combines all of Elvis's favorite flavors - banana, chocolate, and peanut butter
and
B. If you eat too much of it, you'll end up looking a lot like Elvis when he crossed over from hubba-hubba to hunka-hunka, if you get what I mean.

(Remember, Party People, bake with abandon. But eat with discretion.)

Anyway.

I have spent years experimenting with this cake. I started with the banana sheet cake recipe highlighted by Flo Braker in her Simple Art of Perfect Baking, but didn't find it quite banana-y enough. Then I reverted to the banana bread recipe from Cook, My Darling Daughter, which has served me well in loaf form for years. Alas, too dense.

What I was seeking was a very banana-y flavor with an almost chiffon cake-like structure. So I went back to Braker's recipe but doubled the number of bananas, omitted the baking powder, and substituted the sour cream with more than twice as much plain, non-fat yogurt. Another secret to the cake's airy texture is the initial beating of the sugar and bananas together, similar to how you'd make a genoise (which we'll get to later, but if you want some homework: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G%C3%A9noise_cake)

The frosting is a simple ganache, with peanut butter substituting for some of the cream. The result tastes a whole lot like melted Reeces pieces only more sophisticated because, well, it's ganache (for those of you from the South, you'll want to pronounce that gah-nash. The rest of us, guh-nosh.)

But however you pronounce it, unless bananas, chocolate, and peanut butter are, like, totally not your thing (in which case, what planet are YOU from?), this cake is going to knock your socks off.

Before:
Pre-heat your oven to 350º F. Butter and flour two 8" round cake pans or spray with nonstick baking spray.

What:
4 medium (3 if really large) bananas, overripe
1/4 cup non-fat plain yogurt
2 cups cake flour (or double sifted regular, unbleached)
1-1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup sugar
3/4 cup (1-1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, melted and cooled
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
One recipe Basic Chocolate Ganache made with 1-1/2 cups cream
3 tablespoons creamy peanut butter

How:
Sift together flour, baking soda, and salt into large bowl. Set aside.

Roughly mash two of the bananas together with the yogurt and set aside.

Place remaining two bananas and sugar into another mixing bowl. If using a stand mixer, fit with the wire whisk attachment. Mix on high until mixture is light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Add melted butter, eggs, and vanilla, mixing well well for 2 minutes, scraping down the bowl after first minute. Mix in dry ingredients just until incorporated – no need to over beat. Fold in the mashed banana/yogurt mixture.

Pour batter into prepared pans.

Bake for approximately 45 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into middle of the cake comes out clean. Don't worry if top of cakes crack.

Cool cakes on wire rack for 10 minutes before un-molding onto rack to let cool completely, about 2 hours.

After:

To make the peanut butter ganache:
Follow recipe for Basic Chocolate Ganache, only reduce amount of cream to 1-1/2 cups and add 3 tablespoons of creamy peanut butter to the chocolate pieces. Cool to frosting consistency and frost cake. Serve at room temperature.

Cake will keep for three days at room temperature. Or refrigerate for up to 7 days, but both frosting and cake will be more dense.

Variations:
You can also frost the cake with plain ol' unflavored chocolate ganache or do something entirely different and add the zest and juice of one whole lemon to the original banana/yogurt mixture and frost with a lemon butter cream, but you'll have to wait until I get around to giving you the recipe for that one.

Basic Chocolate Ganache

2007-11-13T07:53:00.000-08:00

This is the basic, mother recipe out of which all other ganache recipes will spring. It makes enough to frost a two-layer 8" cake (with leftovers for sauce) or a two-layer 9" cake. Unless you like to sneak little "tastes" along the way. Then you'll come up short and will have no one but yourself to blame.

What:
12 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped (I use Ghirardelli chips)
1-2/3 cups cream

How:
If not using chips, chop the chocolate into pea-sized pieces. Or, process in a food processor until finely chopped. (The first method is time consuming and difficult; the second is messy. Buy chips.)

Place chopped or chipped chocolate into a heat-resistant glass or metal bowl.

Measure cream into a Pyrex measuring cup. Microwave on high until boiling, about one minute. Pour cream over chocolate and let sit for one minute. Stir with small metal whisk until all chocolate is melted.

For a glaze: Let cool to a pourable consistency, about 15-30 minutes, depending on your room's temperature. Place cake on a wire rack set on top of a rimmed baking sheet. Pour ganache over cake and allow to drip down, catching excess in the sheet. If necessary, scoop up excess and keep pouring until entire cake is covered.

It will look something like this:

For a fluffy frosting: Let mixture continue to sit at room temperature, stirring gently every half hour or so, until it reaches frosting consistency – about two hours.

It will look something like this (apologies for the hairy dude arms):

Any left overs can be used as a spread over toast (really!), or used as a sauce by microwaving on low power until it reaches a sauce-like consistency. What you pour it over at this point is your business.

Ganache will keep at room temperature for three days, two weeks in the fridge, and six months in the freezer.

Into the Mix

2007-11-13T06:56:00.000-08:00

Before we start, a quick word or two on ingredients.

1. Butter – Unfortunately, American butter sucks ass. Believe me. Go to France and you'll see what I mean. So, we'll have to make do with what we've got. Just make sure it's always, always unsalted. Land O' Lakes is what I use.

2. Milk – 100 percent whole milk is, of course, best. But most of us don't want to subject our arteries to that kind of abuse, no matter how yummy, and so therefore don't keep the stuff in the house. If you do – or want to purchase 'specially for your baking projects – hurrah. If you don't, no worries. I've been baking with 1 percent for years, no problem. Just add a tablespoon or two of cream and things will come out just fine.

3. Cream – Speaking of which . . . Unfortunately, American cream is über, über Pasturized, which sucks for us bakers. So again, use what you can get. Just make sure it's real cream (no half 'n' half) and is unsweetened (save sweetened cream for when you make whipped cream topping).

4. Eggs – Should be Grade A large. Brown or white, doesn't matter. But fresh does. Check the carton.

5. Sugar – If you don't keep regular granulated table sugar in the house as a matter of course, then go buy super refined baking sugar. But I've never really noticed the difference. We'll use powdered sugar a lot, too. Brand doesn't matter. The stuff's all the same, but you can't go wrong with Cane.

6. Flour – I prefer to use cake flour in almost all my cake recipes, including muffins and brownies. But the problem is, it's only sold in small boxes, which makes it a pain in the ass to measure out. So if you don't want to bother, regular ol' unbleached (and for goodness sake, not self-rising unless I tell you), white flour will do. Just makes sure you measure, sift, then measure again.

7. Baking Powder/Soda – Who really knows the difference between these two? All I know is, they're very, very important leavening agents – sometimes used together, sometimes not. They do lose their super-duper powers within a couple years though, so check expiration dates and replace as necessary.

8. Flavorings – Sure, real vanilla is expensive. Tough. Imitation is for pussies. Splurge, already. Also good to have on hand: liquid lemon, orange, and peppermint flavorings.

9. Lickker – I keep Kirsch, Kahlua, Amaretto, rum, and bourbon on hand at all times. Buy a small bottle of each as you need it and it will last for years. Unless, of course, in addition to being a baker, you're also a drunk.

10. Chocolate - Oh Lord, a subject in and of itself. Which I'll get to later, but for now, just know that there's a difference between unsweetened, bittersweet, and semi-sweetened and I won't leave you hanging as to which you'll need to use.

11. Cocoa – Some bakers insist on Dutch-processed only, but Hershey's baking has done Moi for years with no worries.

12. Nuts – Buy 'em chopped. Time is always of the essence, Party People.

13. Other Stuff – Polenta, oats, whole wheat flour, raisins, cranberries – we'll be using all this stuff and more but I'll cover any necessary info as we go along.

Unless otherwise noted, all ingredients, including butter, should be at room temperature before you start baking. That can be anywhere from 30 minutes to 1 hour, so plan accordingly.

Soon, we bake. I promise!

Baker's Bling

2007-11-11T06:14:00.000-08:00

Aw, come on! you're probably thinking. I logged on here anticipating a post that actually teaches me how to bake something and all I get is a photo of this intimidating piece of equipment.

Well, hang on. We can't run until we walk. Or at the very least crawl.

Every crafts person has their tools. Their workshop. Their library of source materials.

It's no different for bakers. If you plan to join me in this adventure, you're gonna need some basic tools. So bear with me for just one post.

THE WORKSHOP: As a baker, your workshop, obviously, is your kitchen. Sometimes it's also a sunny spot on a window ledge or out on the patio. But it's not your ass on the sofa (Unless of course you're Wicked and you plan to continue to ignore the fact that there is a bona fide oven in your kitchen as you plant your ass on the sofa, Cab Sav in hand, and just mouth the words.)

So. Those of you who aren't Wicked, get up and go into your kitchen. You should have the following; stove top, oven, microwave, counter space. Make sure all are in working order. That means, you can switch on the gas or electricity to your stove top without burning your domicile to the ground; your oven is calibrated to the correct temperature (a simple oven thermometer will do) and you adjust accordingly when baking; your microwave has at least a low, medium, and high setting; and you've got a good 3-5 feet of counter space cleared of all bills, cat hair, and last night's beer bottles. Simple, huh?

THE TOOLS: Uh, unfortunately, NOT so simple. Car mechanics, wood workers – hell, home tinkerers – have nothing on bakers when it comes to tools. Google any baking ware Web site and you'll quickly come away thinking, like Moi, that it is indeed a yellow short bus ride to the long, slippery slope of bankruptcy when it comes to one's materials. Then again, I've been baking for years and the Shoe Fund is no worse off because of it. (Hint: eBay, Party People)

Most of you probably already have half this stuff anyway. It may be lying dormant and neglected in your cabinets, covered in dust, the final resting spots for dozens of long dead and dessicated insects, but you most likely got it. So go on, fill a sink with some hot, soapy water, go snooping, and bring your materials back out into the light.

At the bare minimum you'll need:

1. Baking pans
2 8" rounds
2 9" rounds
12 hole muffin
1 Bundt
1 8" square
1 9x13 square
2 9x3 loaf pans
1 10" scalloped-edged tart pan, with removable bottom
1 10" pie pan

For the rounds, muffin, and loaf, I prefer plain ol' aluminum of the kind you can purchase at any hobby shop (Wilton is a good, inexpensive, long-lasting brand). For the Bundt and tart, I prefer non-stick. And for the 8" square, 9x13, and 10" pie, I prefer glass (nothing beats Pyrex).

2. Baking Sheets
At least two, rimmed, non-stick, 12x17

3. Bowls
One set of nesting glass and one set of nesting metal should do ya. Keep Aunt Ida's Depression-era ceramics on display, where they belong. I'd hate to be responsible for the loss of a lovely heirloom.

4. Mixer
Unless you're Amish or have freakishly powerful upper body strength, don't even try to fool yourself into thinking you can bake without at least a hand held electric mixer. These can be purchased from any discount appliance store on the cheap, but should include at least two different beater styles and six varying speeds.

5. Measuring Tools:
Set of measuring spoons, aluminum, which range from 1/8" teaspoon to 1 tablespoon.
Set of dry measuring cups, aluminum, which range from 1/4 cup to 1 cup.
Two-cup Pyrex measuring cup for liquids
Four-cup Pyrex measuring cup for liquids
3-cup sized sifter. Or do as I do and use metal mesh strainers (I have several sizes) – they're easier to use.

6. Utensils
2 large rubber spatulas
2 small rubber spatulas
2 long-handled, sturdy wooden spoons
1 large balloon whisk
1 medium whisk
1 small whisk
1 offset metal spatula for icing cakes.

7. Pots
For making candy, melting chocolate, clarifying butter, etc.:
1 1-1/2 or 2-quart
1 2-3/4 or 3-quart

8. Wire racks
2 12x17

9. Other
Scale for measuring chocolate chips, raisins, etc.
Candy thermometer, preferably instant-read

If it's in your budget, I also highly recommend you substitute your hand held mixer with a Kitchen Aide stand mixer (Mine was a gift from my mother twelve years ago and it just opened up my baking world.) AND, you purchase two Silpat non-stick silicone baking sheets. These are almost imperative if you're going to make meringue cookies and they make clean up of other sheet pan goodies a breeze.

Of course, how you outfit your workshop from here is simply limited by your budget, your desire, and your imagination.

THE SOURCE MATERIALS: Why, Moi, of course. So, hang in there and stay tuned. Next time, we bake!

I Bake, Therefore I Am

2007-11-08T14:24:00.000-08:00

Helllloooooo, Party People! Welcome to Moi's Baking Blog!

Blame my brother. If he hadn't been such a problem child and if, in being such a problem child, hadn't decided to use the back end of our parent's 1964 Volkswagen Beetle as a makeshift slide, and if the license plate attached to said makeshift slide had never had a sliver of razor sharp metal jutting out from one corner, and if that piece of metal hadn't sliced into the outside of my brother's leg like a Wüsthof knife slicing into a fat piece of Grade A Prime beef, and if said cut hadn't required five bazillion stitches and a trip to the toy store to appease the screeching little brat, then there's a good chance I wouldn't be typing these words.

But it was during that trip to the toy store, in which my harried parents urged us uncharacteristically to buy whatever we wanted, that I found this, the object that jump-started my obsession. While my brother brooded indecisively over whether to bring home yet another G.I. Joe with which to torture my Pam Am Stewardess Barbie or a Mr. Potato Head with which to no doubt torture the dog, I knew instantly what I wanted.

This little red stool. Because it was just high enough to boost my five year old body up to counter height to help my mother bake.

In those early days as a stay-at-home-mom, my mother was either off on some long and lonesome walk through the sage brushed prairie that surrounded our home or she was in the kitchen, expertly crafting the myriad goodies required to appease my father's prodigious appetite for sweets. And for many, many years, I was right there beside her: watching, taking notes, licking the pans . . .

As a result, by the time I was ten years old, I had mastered my grandmother's secret pound cake. At twelve, I spent an entire day making puff pastry by hand, a Herculean effort that resulted in enough Napoleons to feed the neighborhood. In my teens, I was in charge of all the family birthday cakes. By the time I graduated high school, there was little in the way of sweet stuffs that I hadn't given at least one go. I was nothing short of a baking slut.

Twenty some odd years later, I'm still at it.

And most people I know ask me: Why? Isn't it so much easier to skip on over to the local bakery or Trader Joe's and just purchase your dessert?

Sure it is, but it's not as much fun.

Yes, I said it. Baking is fun. Chemistry, schmemistry. Look, I la la la la la-ed my way through four years of high school science and my baked goods are none the worse for wear. If I can do it, so can you.

So come on, grab an apron. Fire up the electric mixer. Dust off those muffin pans. Put on your favorite boogie shoes and let's go cook us something sweet to eat . . .