When Life Hands Moi Tequila

This comes courtesy of the Pirate, that fabulously swashbuckling funster who, when not dragging her mother on a 5K run in the middle of a snowstorm or leaping 10,000 foot high mountains in her rockin' running skort, is cruising around looking for as many bits of high hilarity as she can stuff into one day.

Which comes in awfully handy at times like this when life's tapping its foot at Moi and I can't get in the kitchen (I had biscochitos and pralines and brickle oh my in mind for y'all this weekend, sniff!).

This is for fun. I think. Right?

Christmas Tequila Cookies

1 cup dark brown sugar
1 cup (two sticks) butter
1 cup granulated sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit (dried cranberries or raisins)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1 cup coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans
2 cups all purpose flour
1 liter bottle Don Julio or Patron Tequila

First, sample the Tequila to check quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the Tequila to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour another 4 ounces in a measuring cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of the butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon sugar. Beat again.
At this point, it is best to make sure the Tequila is still OK.
Try another 4 ounces, just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, picking the frigging fruit off the floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a screwdriver.
Sample the Tequila to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt or shomething.
Check the Tequila.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Tequila and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

Cherry Mistmas